Bad habits and excessive behavior
There are many forms of bad habits and excessive behavior in todays society. Common behavior includes drinking, gambling, playing video games, watching TV, use of cell phone, sex, shopping or eating. I think most people have already been through a phase of excessive behavior or actually do it on a regular basis. I think you my dear reader probably have some form of a bad habit as well.
I catch myself in phases of excessive behavior mostly when I am unsatisfied with the way my life goes in that particular time – but also when I am sad and sometimes because out of pure boredom.
But I question what the actual causes of these forms of behavior are and how bad habits turn into something excessive. It is hard to nail it on one thing only. Often it is running away from reality I guess. It might also be a consequence of a depressive state – simply to tune out the numb feeling of an everyday routine and monotony. Some people might fall into a state of excessive behavior after a major change in their lives –like a break up or loss of their job. When you do not have high self-esteem it might be a form of escape from your personal problems.
I think if the state is only temporary it is not devastating. It becomes an actual problem if this behavior determines the daily life. There is a small line between excessive behavior and addiction. Now I want to analyze some opportunities to cure this behavior and to erase the bad habits. Like with many problems it starts with realizing that you have one. Honesty to yourself is an important trait and something not always easy to do. If you realize it, then you have to ask the question where the origin is. For me it is a lot easier to change a bad habit after realizing why I do it. Sometimes it is necessary to force yourself to stop a bad habit. If you catch yourself always using facebook© on your phone, maybe it is time to uninstall the app. If drinking is getting in your way too often, start a challenge to stay sober (maybe with a friend who has the same issue). Reward yourself from time to time. For example if you stayed sober for a month have a small night out with your buddies and enjoy it again instead of the abundance you usually experience.
Set small goals instead of an enormous one. If you drink a lot on weekends, it might not be easy to stop it completely. Try to drink beers only and avoid spirits for example. If junk food is a problem, eat healthy at least one meal a day.
Remember: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – (Lao Tse)
So one step at a time will eventually bring you closer to your long term goal.
People are different though. For me it is easier to be radical and quit something completely. I recently did it with alcohol. This is also a result of my character because I am a rather excessive type of person. For others it is easier to change or reduce something step by step. Another very good way to change a bad habit is to (ex)change it with a good one. If food and your resulting weight is a problem, find happiness in working out and actually getting in the shape you would like to be. Setting realistic goals is the key though.
I am reading a very interesting book at the moment – Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation – by Gabriele Oettingen. It deals with future plans and dreams and how to achieve your goals by a technique called mental contrasting. Mental contrasting is about your personal goals and the possible obstacles on the way to reach them. Basically, it is a more realistic approach towards achieving your goals, while considering problems in reality. Instead of being stuck in dreams, which can be nice but also makes you lethargic, it offers a way to reach goals for real. It is scientifically proven that this technique is successful.
I used mental contrasting and it has been a very handy tool so far. We are human beings and with todays offers of possible distractions and consuming traps we lose focus sometimes. I have written it in an article before but I cannot stress the fact enough – the connection to our core.
A deep connection to your soul, your inner voice or whatever you want to call it brings a great reward. We form strong personalities and if distractions or addictions are knocking on our door we can brush them off a lot easier. Connecting to our roots sometimes makes us face a tough challenge. It is not easy to stay in a room without doing anything (sleeping does not count) and facing inner thoughts, doubts and worries. I have noticed this at times when I experienced these moments.
Bad habits can numb our minds most certainly but only for a period of time. Sooner or later we will get caught by our inner self. It is very important to slow down from time to time and take care of our inner core. Even in the stressful day to day routine, small time outs help to avoid to develop bad habits and excessive behavior. Next time you notice that one of your bad habits tends to become too excessive take a few steps back. Spend some “me time” but without distractive devices like a phone, tablet or computer. Write a letter to yourself (I know this sounds weird) or write a diary. Your core will thank you eventually. To me it helps to read these things at a later point in time so I can reflect and learn from my previous mistakes. Although I consider myself as quite excessive so far I have managed to keep all my bad habits under control and have not gotten carried away by them. If you fail to quit or change something that has been bothering you for a while, you should search for professional help. Unfortunately, visiting a shrink is frowned upon in many cultures. I think it shows how much you care about your well-being and sometimes it is a very helpful method to deal with an issue. Meditation or practicing a hobby in the creative sector are excellent ways to feed your inner core with positive energy.
In conclusion it is totally normal to have some bad habits and forms of excessive behavior.
It becomes a problem if you lose control and get carried away by it. A good method is to accept it and to be aware of it. Once that step is done you need to stop and or (ex)change it. When you feed your inner core with good things your body, mind and soul will connect again. Bad habits will not have the power over you and will not become excessive as they do when you are disconnected from your inner self. And remember every day is an opportunity to change the way you eat, consume and behave. Small steps and realistic goals are your main companions on this journey. A Chinese proverb states this clearly:
„The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.“
In this sense I wish you all the best on your journey.